An overview of the Nigerian political mafias

“Politicians have always sought us out because we can provide votes .Between friends and family, each man of honor can muster up forty to fifty other people. There are between 1,500 and 2,000 men of honor in Palermo province. Multiply that by fifty and you get a nice package of 75,000 to 100,000 votes to go to friendly parties and candidates.”

-Anthonini Calderone

I have just finished reading an interesting book The Mafia:the first 100 years written by two authors William Balzamo and George Carpozzi jnr. This courtesy of an intellectual friend who was kind enough to lend me this priceless novel.  To be honest the ways of the mafia ‘the men of honour’ has always intrigued me right from my school days, especially as they were made more popular by Mario Puzo and his blockbuster the Godfather.

One surprising thing after reading this book was the reality that hit me; I have come to compare our present situation in the country to that of the 18th century criminal era of the mafia in Sicily and America where they made a huge success in their criminal activities.  They were what one can call an alternative government in the days of prohibition in America. They made bootlegging more popular and ripped off the states and people  billions of dollars through other criminal activities like gambling, loan sharking, insurance payment, prostitutions, protection racketeering , vote buying, smuggling, bid rigging and other legal and illegal  legendry activities of the Mafia (also known as Cosa Nostra).

They were virtually everywhere during the 18th and 19th century America and made inroad into various America cities,  more organized and flamboyant in the 20th century, with strong mafia boss like Al Capone Scarface, Frankie Yale,  Lucky Luciano,Frank Capello,  Carlo Gambino,Vito Ganovese, Sam ‘Momo’ Giancana,Joseph Bonanno, John Gotti  and others sitting atop some of the most dangerous  criminal gangs the world had ever seen. They enforced their authorities everywhere and were in total control of the American social political economy.

 Back home here in Nigeria, I want to believe that what we presently have is nothing different from the Mafioso era in the 18th and 19th   century. Because our economic, social and political lives today seem to be under control of some mafia or cabal of sort who dictates and enforces some of the activities going on in this sectors. A good example is our epileptic power supply where some political mafias have since taken charge and direct when or where should have electricity at a particular given time. Stories of individuals dictating or enforcing electricity distribution to certain area are not new in Nigeria.  And the strong energy generating mafias are not left out in the mass importation of generators in the country; this to ensure that the Nigerian masses don’t enjoy light but buy their noise making generating sets at dictated prices.

What about our moribund transport system and obsolete railway lines? The Nigerian Mafias have long hijacked these important sectors to themselves and their gangs of unpatriotic Nigerians. The Nigerian  nation has been battling them for more than three decades to  revive this comatose sector and ease the suffering of  the ordinary man, especially those at the rural areas who are finding it extremely difficult to move their goods and services to the cities. They have hijacked and ensured that our roads are dead and are in total control of haulage and other road transport services. They bid and win most of the road contracts in the country and at the end construct seasonal roads that last only for a particular time and new contracts are awarded to them on the same roads. Perhaps nowhere else on planet earth has some of the most expensive dilapidated roads like Nigeria.

The Nigerian political mafias control our local government councils, states assemblies and National Assembly, up to our fortified Aso Rock. They have their men and women who are bonafide members of their unregistered cabal scattered everywhere as local government chairmen and women, councilors, house members, representatives, senators and governors. They are not left out in the list of ministers and special advisers, including heads of juicy government agencies. They have long made it their business to be involved in winning government tenders, bonds, and luscious contracts. They proposed and initiate what they think is good for the Nigerian people and the nation and ensured that they control the financial and logistic aspect. They are everywhere controlling the goods in our markets and fixing the prices of essential commodities, after all they own 99% of markets and stalls across the country. The Nigeria political Mafioso have gradually infiltrated the building industry , owning various verse estates and bought their way into other luscious sectors of our economy like oil and gas, export and import, shipping, the media, banking, telecommunication and even cabbage collecting and refuse dumps.  They are holding on greedily and selfishly to these ventures and daily exploiting us without pity or the fear of God.

I tell you, they are everywhere, look around and you will see them. They have commandeered our educational sector and ensured that our schools don’t work or function effectively. They are happy with our dilapidated public schools and proud that their children are schooling in the best schools abroad, and some of them are busy setting up private primary, secondary and higher institutions across the country with looted funds; and high tuition fees that only them and their cronies can afford .They have this illusive vision of importing their offspring to take over from them at the ripe time. They have guaranteed themselves and their followers that public schools in Nigeria will never return to its past glory or graduate ordinary Nigerians with flying colours. They are in control of our labour market and hold the aces to employment in most private and public establishment. You must belong to a cabal or have a political mafia godfather for you to get job or promotion in most of our establishments in the country.

The Nigeria political mafias just like their Sicilian and American counterparts are bunch of desperados and could go to any length to retail their claws in the fragmented social political economy of this nation.  They see nothing wrong in assassination, kidnapping, bombings or rough handling any opposition to their undertakings. They have almost the best of all material things in the world; ranging from gigantic mansions, posh cars and beautiful women, and never satisfied.

Ironically the only difference with the famous Sicilians mafia is that while the Sicilians and American mafias pride themselves as ‘Men of honour’ our own political mafias are not really known as such, given the fact that they hardly keep their words and promises, even their own backyards are seriously undeveloped and are well –known in the betrayal of each other and cross carpeting for cheap political and  material gains, and importantly undermining the revered oath of ‘Omerta’,   that pledge of secrecy  well distinguished among the Sicilian mafias.

What if the opposition wins?

Sometime early last year, I had the privilege to sit one on one with General Muhammadu Buhari in his office in Kaduna for an interview on his biography. It was quite an interesting meeting that sharpened my understanding about the man and his love for this great country. Again my interaction with him opened my eyes to some historical facts about the Nigerian civil war and some patriotic deeds of some of our past leaders like General Murtala Muhammed, and General Shuwa,to mention just a few.

 Prior to this historic interview, I had arranged a few questions for the people’s general and seated not too far away  from him on his conference table, we began the intensive question and answer sessions that took about four good hours. Among the questions I asked the now presidential aspirant of the CPC was “When was your happiest moment in life, sir?” He had stared thoughtfully at me and answered that his happiest moment in life was the day the Nigerian civil war ended. I was taken aback by this revelation and wanted to know more. And more I got to know about the war and how it suddenly ended with an announcement on New Year’s Eve. One other question I asked the General was: “Sir when was your saddest moment in life?” To this question he had stared thoughtfully away silently for some minutes and then responded with a patriotic disappointing tone, that his saddest moment in life so far was when the Supreme Court in a two to three votes awarded his mandate to his opponent in the last presidential election. What the general said had piqued him most  about the whole exercise  was that a Chief Justice of the Federation could allow himself to be part of deceits and in the long run cast his decisive  vote to award victory to the opposition.

As I stared and strayed all my ears to digest this information, I noticed and could feel the disappointment in the voice of this resilient Nigerian,especially  when he said he felt bad because it was not about him (Buhari) alone, but about 150 million Nigerians or more, particularly those who cast their votes and wanted a change. Honestly I was shocked with this sincere expression and suddenly felt so bad with the last election.

I had wished the whole exercise could be repeated and those who stole this resilient general’s mandate are shamed in the public and his mandate returned to him. But this is Nigeria, and wishes like this could only pass through your mind and remain buried in your conscions for life, except a miracle happens.

This week I am going to let go my imagination and free some unimaginative but possible scenario in the current Nigerian political arena. And since imagination is said to be the ability to form images and ideas in the mind, especially of things never seen or experienced directly. So I am going to borrow from this logic and try to create a semblance of reality as regards the forth-coming general election.

Part of my solo imagination is what would happen if the opposition party suddenly wins the majority votes in the forth-coming election. I am imagining the opposition dislodging the powerful PDP in the states and National Assembly, governorship of majority of the states and the hot seat: the presidency. Would the PDP accept their defeat with dignity, pack their bags and say bye-bye to all the seats and states they lost?  Would they console themselves humbly and relinquish the presidency to the opposition and allow the swearing in of a new government and embrace change with dignity? Or would they fight it out physically by unleashing some political unrest across the states they lost? Or challenge their defeat and slug it out legally in the various courts across the country?

These are part of the many questions that raced through my mind as I set my imagination free and try to form some images and ideas in my mind.  What about the opposition?  Would their victory bring about any change from the current political failure in almost all the states of the federation with the exception of few? Would the take-over of the reins of government by the opposition if the wheels of change rolled in their favour, bring about massive development across the country? Would it end the disgraceful epileptic power supply and bring back to life our abandoned industries and stimulate jobs for the millions of unemployed Nigerians across the country?  Since change is an alteration in an existing process, would the victory of the opposition in the forth-coming election modify the wasteful spending of our legislators and help revolutionize the lower and upper chamber and bring a difference in governance in the nation?

I am still imagining and creating some possible scenario in our political terrain. Wondering how it would look like if the opposition suddenly takes over as the next tenant in Aso Rock? Would it be flamboyancy as usual with hundreds of political aides and thousands of special advisers roaming around with nothing concrete to show for their appointment and getting paid for doing virtually nothing? What about our decaying education structure, would their conquest bring back the glory of our once respected schools and intellectual fame?  Would the triumph of the opposition address the biting cost of food and high cost of living in the country? Would it stamp out the endemic cases of corruption in virtually  all our ministries and the maladministration going on in most government agencies?  Can the opposition address the profound human rights challenges presently confronting this great nation;threatening challenges like the shameful communal crisis in Jos, Bauchi and other parts of the country? Including abuses by government security forces and violence in the NigerDelta, and Maiduguri?

What if the opposition surprisingly wins, just as it happened in America, Britain, Ghana, Cote d’Ivoire, Niger, and some other democratically propelled countries across the globe? Are Nigerians to whet their dry throats and shout a big hurray in the hope that things would change and that finally the right to enjoy the vast wealth in their land would come to them? Just imagination running through my mind, but anything they say can happen, if you believe. So let us wait and see, as for me my eyes are wide alive and still playing freely with my imagination, specifically wondering what would happen if that resilient general should win again.

NEW  NIGERIAN  ON  SUNDAY, APRIL 3,  2011

Yes! This election is worth doing well

I don’t know if most of you watched last week’s episode of the hottest selling Nigerian movie: election 2011. I did and I was not too disappointed in what I saw and the many intrigues and tensed drama showcased by the various actors and actresses.  Well for those who are still new to the Nigeria political arena, this is the final show of strength and magu- magu by all the contesting political parties in the forth-coming general election.  And as visualized by yours sincerely, our white bearded prof gave them a shocker, an upper cut that stopped all their planned rigging,ballot snatching and vote buying,etc.  And trust Nigerians the show was superlative with various chain reaction and different version and sub-plot emitting from various groups throughout the week.

While some group accused INEC of a deliberate attempt to rig the election in favour of the PDP,other group accused the electoral body of a plot to award the election to certain tribal group in the country and others fired at the prof for negligence and failure and demanded  his head. But one of the hottest accusations was the rumoured interception of ballot boxes in the hands of some serving governors and their aides. Like wildfire the story soon burnt across the streets, and more conspiracy theories were easily concocted to embellish the already charged atmosphere. 

This is Nigeria for you where everything is different. A prudent observer might have noticed that we are always in a rush in almost everything we do, never with the patience to do anything worth doing well. The daily rush and mad haste by most of our motorists and cyclists across the country is a typical example of how we are. Always rushing to get somewhere and at the end getting nowhere, after breaking the various traffic laws and instigating multiple accidents along the way.

And like the various daily madness along our roads and other part of our system, election 2011 has been co-opted into our rush-rush trademark. And our desperate politicians are too anxious to snatch, steal and rig the election in their favour. Some of them have even gone as far as shamelessly swapping the real electoral officers with their cronies, brothers, sisters and other political mercenaries. Wonder they say shall never end, and in Nigeria wonder will always grow above the average.

I think the prof was right when he said anything worth doing is worth doing well. But most of our political elite would hardly subscribe to this sensible logic; instead they are more comfortable with their fire brigade approach to sensitive and important issues. They feel proud in exhibiting their illusive power and cutting cheap corners in getting things done, part of the reasons why almost everything seems not to be working in the country. Thank God the white bearded Prof called their bluff  last Saturday and boldly cancelled the slated election across the country, taming and exposing their plans, and all the magu-magu they had planned to unleash on the innocent electorate.

Yes! Whatsoever is worth doing must be worth doing well, and the 2011 election should be worth doing well and better than the previous orchestrated elections in the country. I think it is important for the Prof to close his ears to the selfish agitation of some of our desperate politicians and give Nigerians a free, fair and transparent election. He should hold on to his vowed transparent election slogan and let his conscience guide him towards stamping his name in gold in the eyes of the world.

This election is worth doing well and should never be the normal undemocratic do-or-die affair mantra of Baba Otta. We must try to get it right this time around and do this trillion  naira election with prudence and ensure that all those volume of billions channelled towards this expensive exercise  don’t just go  through the drain; to the selfish satisfaction of our over-desperate politicians, who want everything to continue as usual.

We should all stand up to our rights this time around and insist that this election is worth doing well, if it means cancelling it again to checkmate those political thieves  around us, whose mind- set are already programmed to steal, snatch and rig election. This is actually the time for all patriotic Nigerians to come out and defend their votes from invading political mercenaries and vote robbers threatening our political freedom and overall development. We should insist that this election is worth doing well for us to have patriotic councillors, chairmen, legislators, senators, governors and president.

Perhaps nowhere else under the sun apart from Nigeria are citizens of a country yearly out-winked by their politicians despite all the intellectual capital and enlightenment among the various groups. It is important that we say no to these political fraudsters among us, who over the decade have been using the police and other security agencies, including the judiciary,to intimidate and steal our rights to proper representation and prosperous living condition. This election for the tax payers’ money, time and lives that have been sacrificed along the way, I believe is worth doing well, and Nigerians should be ready to sacrifice as they troop out en masse to cast their votes again.

We should insist on quality of the highest and finest standard of electioneering, since we are practising and paying for one of the most expensive democracies in the world.

The  movie is still running and the drama daily unfolding as we near the end of one of the most controversial and expensive  political movie in the world. Please let us insist,like the prof,that anything worth doing, must and should be done well.

NEW  NIGERIAN  ON  SUNDAY, APRIL 10,  2011

Yes! This election is worth doing well

I don’t know if most of you watched last week’s episode of the hottest selling Nigerian movie: election 2011. I did and I was not too disappointed in what I saw and the many intrigues and tensed drama showcased by the various actors and actresses.  Well for those who are still new to the Nigeria political arena, this is the final show of strength and magu- magu by all the contesting political parties in the forth-coming general election.  And as visualized by yours sincerely, our white bearded prof gave them a shocker, an upper cut that stopped all their planned rigging,ballot snatching and vote buying,etc.  And trust Nigerians the show was superlative with various chain reaction and different version and sub-plot emitting from various groups throughout the week.

While some group accused INEC of a deliberate attempt to rig the election in favour of the PDP,other group accused the electoral body of a plot to award the election to certain tribal group in the country and others fired at the prof for negligence and failure and demanded  his head. But one of the hottest accusations was the rumoured interception of ballot boxes in the hands of some serving governors and their aides. Like wildfire the story soon burnt across the streets, and more conspiracy theories were easily concocted to embellish the already charged atmosphere. 

This is Nigeria for you where everything is different. A prudent observer might have noticed that we are always in a rush in almost everything we do, never with the patience to do anything worth doing well. The daily rush and mad haste by most of our motorists and cyclists across the country is a typical example of how we are. Always rushing to get somewhere and at the end getting nowhere, after breaking the various traffic laws and instigating multiple accidents along the way.

And like the various daily madness along our roads and other part of our system, election 2011 has been co-opted into our rush-rush trademark. And our desperate politicians are too anxious to snatch, steal and rig the election in their favour. Some of them have even gone as far as shamelessly swapping the real electoral officers with their cronies, brothers, sisters and other political mercenaries. Wonder they say shall never end, and in Nigeria wonder will always grow above the average.

I think the prof was right when he said anything worth doing is worth doing well. But most of our political elite would hardly subscribe to this sensible logic; instead they are more comfortable with their fire brigade approach to sensitive and important issues. They feel proud in exhibiting their illusive power and cutting cheap corners in getting things done, part of the reasons why almost everything seems not to be working in the country. Thank God the white bearded Prof called their bluff  last Saturday and boldly cancelled the slated election across the country, taming and exposing their plans, and all the magu-magu they had planned to unleash on the innocent electorate.

Yes! Whatsoever is worth doing must be worth doing well, and the 2011 election should be worth doing well and better than the previous orchestrated elections in the country. I think it is important for the Prof to close his ears to the selfish agitation of some of our desperate politicians and give Nigerians a free, fair and transparent election. He should hold on to his vowed transparent election slogan and let his conscience guide him towards stamping his name in gold in the eyes of the world.

This election is worth doing well and should never be the normal undemocratic do-or-die affair mantra of Baba Otta. We must try to get it right this time around and do this trillion  naira election with prudence and ensure that all those volume of billions channelled towards this expensive exercise  don’t just go  through the drain; to the selfish satisfaction of our over-desperate politicians, who want everything to continue as usual.

We should all stand up to our rights this time around and insist that this election is worth doing well, if it means cancelling it again to checkmate those political thieves  around us, whose mind- set are already programmed to steal, snatch and rig election. This is actually the time for all patriotic Nigerians to come out and defend their votes from invading political mercenaries and vote robbers threatening our political freedom and overall development. We should insist that this election is worth doing well for us to have patriotic councillors, chairmen, legislators, senators, governors and president.

Perhaps nowhere else under the sun apart from Nigeria are citizens of a country yearly out-winked by their politicians despite all the intellectual capital and enlightenment among the various groups. It is important that we say no to these political fraudsters among us, who over the decade have been using the police and other security agencies, including the judiciary,to intimidate and steal our rights to proper representation and prosperous living condition. This election for the tax payers’ money, time and lives that have been sacrificed along the way, I believe is worth doing well, and Nigerians should be ready to sacrifice as they troop out en masse to cast their votes again.

We should insist on quality of the highest and finest standard of electioneering, since we are practising and paying for one of the most expensive democracies in the world.

The  movie is still running and the drama daily unfolding as we near the end of one of the most controversial and expensive  political movie in the world. Please let us insist,like the prof,that anything worth doing, must and should be done well.

NEW  NIGERIAN  ON  SUNDAY, APRIL 10,  2011

Who is afraid of the opposition?

Drama shall never end in Nigeria political terrain; everyday is one drama to another. And I tell you, this comic like cheap political muzzling is making the 2011 election more interesting by the day.  And for those who have the passion to share some laughter, this no doubt is the time to laugh away at some of the disgraceful stone age political thinking of some of our politicians across the country, especially in the PDP controlled states, where they have tried to shut out the opposition and went as far as banning them from holding public rallies or pasting posters and billboards in ‘their states’.

I dey laugh like Baba, wondering if these self-proclaimed dictators sometimes spare their self-imposed busy schedule to reflect and ask themselves about the whereabouts of those before them? I  almost fell down from my seat when I read about one  Amala governor in the south-west who,wanting desperately to cling to his soon to be  expired stay at the government house,and be in the good books of madam first lady, gave an order that the opposition must not step foot on the people’s hall to campaign ,as if the gra-gra governor used  his personal fund to build this popular hall or got some donation from the office of the first lady, when the people of the rusted city were sacrificing to build this  vestibule with their hard earned  money through taxes. But thank God the opposition called his bluff and successfully expressed their fundamental rights, under his famous sniffing nose and political thugs.

Another old papa, who happens to be a PDP  governor in one of the states in the south-south, threw caution to the wind and shamed his respected grey hair with a cheap directive that another popular  opposition party in the country should not campaign in ‘ his state’. That state he dreamed he used his money in creating and building. That state that has not really witnessed any change or progress since his magu-magu selection to the office as governor, and presently holds the record of the most unpopular and unknown governor in the country. And again the opposition dares him and went ahead with their campaign across the state, under his watchful old eyes. 

Perhaps one of the most surprising political muzzling was the one exhibited by a popular servant governor in the north-central, who despite his popularity and charisma among the people, still went ahead to banned the opposition from holding their legitimate campaign, thus earning a minus in his hitherto respected political profile.  Another surprisingly one was the shocking one exhibited in another state in the far north, where Baba mai mangoro, despite being a popular governor and farmer, refused to play good hospitality that farmers are renowned with. Instead the old soldier decided to rekindle his old military thinking and gave order that no opposition should hold campaign in ‘his state’ or play towards his cherished mango trees.

One would have thought that the Nigerian political elite by now must have learnt from the political crisis and awareness going on around the world; that they can no longer muzzle people’s opinions and freedom of expression.  Actually these cheap display of intolerance for the opposition has once again brought to light the qualification and understanding of governance by the few selected cabal imposed on the electorate over the past ten years. It glaringly shows how timid they are in their political reasoning and disgracefully exposed their lack of understanding of the natural metrics and principles of power.

It should have occurred to these set of people that ‘power’ in whatever way you go, comes from God and no matter your planning, scheming  and muzzling, it will go to whom the giver and owner of power chooses. It has always baffled my sense of understanding why our leaders or some of those in high places always quickly forget where they were, before their present positions.  Our politicians and leaders have this laughable belief that the ladder of life will remain standing once they are up. Cheaply neglecting the undisputable fact that ‘change’ is constant and must showcase its face either they like it or not. Common sense should have knocked the truth into their reasoning  that there were governors, senators, house members, councillors, chiefs, directors, chairmen, ministers, presidents, and whatever before them and there shall always be others after them, as long as the sun keeps shining freely from the sky and there is night and day.

Please be generous with some free laughter, as we watch our politicians try desperately to outwit each other with magu-magu, poster war and intimidation. This is actually the season of political thuggery and they have not disappointed us with their violent display across almost all the political parties in the country. It has been one war to another, from the PDP controlled states, to some ACN and ANPP controlled ones, including the new hurricane blowing CPC and APGA. But the PDP still holds the trophy of the most intimidating and desperate party so far. But the fact remains that the biggest ship no matter its size and strength must bend to the tide of change or sink.

I don’t know about you. But I am so certain that there will be a lot of upset at the forthcoming election, whether our desperado politicians like it or not and I could almost see some of the back that would stumble down with a thud from the ladder of life, with broken  mouths, swollen lips, fractured legs and disgraced frames. The drama is getting more exciting by the day and my eyes are getting more curious as we near the end of this interesting Nigerian movie, parading some of the famous and infamous Nigerian political actors and actresses, as they scramble desperately to clinch some of the top awards in election 2011.  So who is afraid of the opposition?

NEW  NIGERIAN  ON  SUNDAY, MARCH  20,  2011

Let’s debate and jaw-jaw

A debate is described as the mutual understanding of two or more people to talk about something at length and in detail, especially as part of a formal exchange of opinion. It is the ability of different minds to talk and ponder about something carefully, argue and intellectually proffer a satisfactory solution.  A debate in other words is to jaw-jaw with brain and at the end a solution arrived at to tackle any negative wahala or kata-kata.

I like debates because they give you the chance to know your weakness and at the same time comprehend your opponent’s own.  It is sometimes fun and educative to listen to other people talk and by talking you shall know them, because what comes out of the mind of a person defines his or her thinking.  So I was very happy and excited last week that a slated debate among some of our prominent presidential contenders was in the offing.

I had sharpened my brain to absolve some of the missiles and punches that might have been thrown at each other and also laugh myself silly at some of the jibes and drama that would accompany an important gathering like this in Nigeria, especially after the great debate, when aides, supporters and followers of the debaters would go for each other’s throat in the media or engage each other in campaign battles or physical combats and attacks. And abracadabra! Like magic, my excitement was robbed off by the sudden announcement that the great debate has been cancelled, because some aide to one of the presidential candidates, Mr. Presido precisely, refused to sign a very important MoU.  According to reports the presidential representative demanded to see the debate questions first before signing anything. Just like a student asking to be shown his examination question papers before sitting for the exams. But the organizers, I leant said no to the ojoro, thus ending my dream of witnessing a hot presidential debate, maybe hotter than the famous Barack  Obama versus Hillary Clinton debate during their struggle to occupy the White House.

And like everything  proposed or done in Nigeria, the issue was quickly covered under the carpet and the politicians are busy campaigning, shuttling from one state to another and as usual, trying to convince and convert the electorate with their sweet mouth and two sided promises. But honestly this old style won’t work in my side and I believe with other curious Nigerians who are insisting that there must be a debate among the serious presidential candidates vying to occupy the most popular house in the country, namely General Muhammadu Buhari of the CPC, Malam Ibrahim Shekarau of the ANPP, Malam Nuhu Ribadu of the ACN and the current tenant President Goodluck Jonathan of the PDP.

I am happy to announce my decision to join this all important gathering as an independent candidate under the Jaw-Jaw party of Nigeria. Thank God one does not really need plenty of cash or sacks of Ghana must go to talk and do some hot debating. I have made preparation for bags of pure water and some homemade chop-chop to see me through the rigorous exercise.

Let us invite our largest network in Africa NTA, including some private media like AIT, CHANNELS, DITV, and other interested broadcasting stations across the country, to beam their cameras across our faces as we tell the electorate what we want to do for them if luck smiles on any of us and we become the bonalfide tenant of Aso Rock come 2011. Let us be generous as usual  to the international media  since we believe  much more in them than our local ones and invite the BBC, CNN, ALJAZEERA and the other curious international media and beam happily to their inquisitiveness, as we proudly role out our plans to tackle some of the mountainous problems bedeviling this great rich nation.  Let us debate and tell our mothers, daughters, sisters and wives, including those with girlfriends, mistresses and concubines on how we intend to tackle the escalating price of kerosene and high cost of foodstuffs in our markets.

 It is important that we debate and jaw-jaw on this shameful issue of epileptic power supply and the high rate of insecurity and bomb-blast going on around us. Let us come out straight to tell the people and assure them of the ways and means we intend to tackle the crazy killings going on in Jos and the mysterious ones in Maiduguri. I think there is need to keep aside all campaign tours, and campaign festivity and come boldly to the venue of this great debates to tell the electorate how we intend to create more jobs to the teeming unemployed Nigerians starving everyday across the country.

This is no time for shame or undercover, this is the right time to let the electorate hear our well fed voices and assurance on why we want to be President of this great nation.  It is important and a matter of urgency that all the presidential candidates come live on TV, radio and satellite and tell the world  how they intend to tackle our  poor health sector, infrastructure and deathtrap roads.

I am not afraid or ashamed on my own side to face the people and tell them in whatever language they want, my plans and vision for this great country if elected  the Presido of the giant of Africa with plenty human and natural resources. I am sure the other contestants are not shy or afraid to speak in  public. After all we have a candidate with a PhD among us, another, a humble classroom teacher, an ex- commander -  in - chief and an anti - corruption czar among the debaters.

Let us remove shame and stage freight and face the people, this same people we know as our kinsmen and women. We should boldly face the camera and tell our countrymen and women our plans to uplift their lives and living condition. They are the same people we know and grew up with, so we should not be ashamed of speaking even in pidgin, Hausa, Ibo and Yoruba, those four popular Nigerian languages we know so well. In fact, any contester is free to speak in Nupe, Kaje, Birom, Okpella, Ibie, Kanuri, Ijaw,Ibibio,Furfulde, Igbirra, Okun, Ejebu or any of the numerous languages available in this country yanfu-yanfu.  I want to assure the speaker that we have plenty of interpreters around.

Please no candidate should run or decline to participate in this worthy debate. I wish INEC would insist that all candidates vying for elected office, from councilor to chairman, state honourables, to national legislators and senators, including governors must participate in a debate with their opponents and face the people, so that they have a choice and know who is more qualified to represent them.  They should be summoned to the people’s parliament to face them and tell them with an undertaking how they intend to bring development to the rural areas,create alternative source of generating income, instead of depending on oil-windfall and government disbursement  like parasites. All aspiring candidates should be mandated to jaw-jaw among each other and the electorates, to tell them their visions on how to tackle the long housing problems and the sky rocketing house rents across the country. They should tell the whole world loudly how they intend to tackle our dilapidating educational sector and ensure that teachers and lecturers are sensibly compensated for the unquantifiable knowledge they impact on the people.

It should be no debate no vote, for any candidate who refuse to  participate  in a debate; it shows  he or she has nothing to offer, but to come- chop and siddon look for office. I wish our Prof at INEC would insist that all candidates should suspend all campaign tour for now and face the people to answer their questions and worries on the insecurity around them. They should be ready to provide solution to the yearly lamentations of the rural farmers about the high cost of fertilizer and lack of access roads to bring their goods to the markets.

Back to the presidential debate, I am ready and boiling to showcase my vision and promises to the electorate through this must hold debate. Let our PhD candidate join this important debate to jaw- jaw with us on his plans if elected in 2011. Let the humble class- room teacher among us face the people and tell them his dream for this country. It is important that we listen to the patriotic words of our ex - Commander- in- Chief and his plans to tackle insecurity, indiscipline and corruption in the country if he wins. Why should we not allow our ex - anti-corruption crusader to  tell us his new plans and methods of tackling the disgraceful corruption bug that has eaten deep into the fabric of this great nation? Yes, I think it is important that we jaw-jaw and debate intensively on the way forward for this country. It is paramount that we debate and assure the youth of a positive future and make them part of this new age of Information Communication Technology (ICT) and other fast growing development across the globe, so that they won’t be left behind by their peers from other nations.

 So I am waiting eagerly to climb the podium and beam happily to all the cameras and jaw-jaw freely on the big microphones and also cool my throat with pure water as we fire away at each other. Please let us debate and give the electorate the choice to choose the most qualified candidate among us.

NEW  NIGERIAN  ON  SUNDAY, MARCH  13,  2011

Roll out the Drums, please let’s celebrate our Prisoners

Everything under the sun they say has got its time and season. True this is the time and season for celebration and jollymentation in Nigeria, especially among our politicians and specifically within the ruling Peoples Democratic Party. Oh! How I love this country during this season. I am always happy and thrilled with the various eating and dancing that come during political elections in the country, especially in the past ten years.  Believe me I have always made it a duty to have my ears and eyes wide open for any information on political celebration and enjoymentation. 

I wish you saw the sad  look on my face  last  week when I could not join the thousands of enthusiastic  ‘hired supporters’  who trooped out en masse to welcome one of our most popular convict back into the real world, after spending a few arranged years behind bars. I was not happy that I missed all the free amala and orishi-rishi meat that must have rained heavily on the large crowd, especially this time that the old General at Otta decided to lead the high profile political battalion to Kirikiri himself, alongside a large gathering of politicians, made up of well known past and present Amala Governors, ministers and other PDP top guns and aspiring politicians alike. The pictures of the home-coming displayed by various newspapers the next day were quite captivating and I was awe struck. I knew I had really missed something big.

Therefore it came as a surprise to me to hear people complaining and making big noise about this grand gesture by Baba to welcome his lost ‘Boy George’ sorry Bode George, back to the fold. I wonder what else all those complaining had expected, when  we  were supposed to have  rolled out the drums and join the owanbe and jolly away. In fact, all those complaining and reacting negatively to this kind gesture are not being patriotic. Did we not welcome convict Tafa Balogun back into our midst, after all the looted billions? What about the Grand Commander of Otta himself, he came back triumphantly from prison to occupy the highest position in the country, amidst celebration and jubilations. So why shouldn’t two birds of a feather flock together? What about that witty grinning senator that heard the murder rap of the country’s number one law officer hanging on his neck ;he won election from prison and went straight to the national chamber, where he is still grinning away and proposing law for all of us? Hope we have not forgotten a sitting governor who won election from prison, and his controversial naked pictures, or those indicted governors, legislators and ministers,  all by our barking but no biting anti- corruption agencies.

 Please roll out the drums and let us celebrate this great illustrious son of PDP that came, saw and conquered in prison.  Why are we complaining when we have just created a unique made in Nigeria brand of celebration? Who knows, other nations might be eager to copy our innovative idea of welcoming prisoners back home. I am sure the other prisoners Chief Bode George left in Kirikiri are happy for this new invention. They have nothing to worry about, as arrangement might have been concluded to roll out the drums for most of them when they finish serving their terms.

What a brand new era in the country’s democracy. Please let us roll out the drums to all the chicken and goat thieves in our prisons. This kind gesture by the PDP I believe should be extended to all the armed robbers, kidnappers and other condemned prisoners languishing in the various prisons across the country.  This is really a season of happiness and merrymaking. And I am happy for our local musicians and drummers. At least they are now more engaged and enjoying the dividend of democracy.  And for those still doubting the ingenuity of the ruling party, they should please rethink their stand. They should see this as a unique idea, never before experienced anywhere in the world and as such they should be commended and the initiators rewarded with the juiciest positions in the country.

What is wrong in mandating the National Assembly and all the state assemblies to enact a bill that would ensure that all criminals awaiting trial in our various prisons are monthly celebrated and special funds allocated to the office of the comptroller of prisons to celebrate their release? Music they say is good for the body and soul and thank God we have some of the biggest drums, kalangu, shekere and kakaki in the world. Let us roll out this instrument to welcome and honour all our convicted criminals both dead and alive. It won’t seem out of place if they are awarded some of the highest national awards and their offspring awarded scholarships, while a special retiring pension scheme is arranged for those still alive and kicking.

Let  us gyrate and jolly and feed our stomach with hot amala and palm wine, as we welcome the Grand Officer Commanding all the released and  yet to be released Nigerian convicts across the country.  Why are the opposition parties suddenly shouting blue, over this ‘illustrious son’, when all what the PDP is  doing is trying to  woo all the Nigerian prisoners to its side in the forthcoming general election. The fact is nobody or law stops the opposition from hiring some supporters to also mount sentry across all the prisons in the country and welcome any released thief, pickpocket, mass murderer and child molester as they step out from the four tall walls of our famous prisons.

 Please let them listen to the PDP and leave them alone to their celebration, fanfare and new innovation, or join them if they can’t beat them ; after all none of them contributed a kobo to the big cows and huge rams used to welcome ‘their convicted member’ back home. Or are they jealous? Well , they should go back to their drawing boards and learn from this innovative party and see how even some ‘men of God’  saw vision in organizing a thanks giving for this ‘ Omo Eko’. 

The opposition should be grateful that the party did not order for the closure of all major streets in Lagos for the owanbe welcome. But I am sure they will take the initiative when the next ‘big’ convict would be released from prison. My eyes and ears would be wide open this time around, because I cannot afford to miss this big one. And if the opposition doesn’t know, I think they should brace up for the mother of all celebration and owanbe party. This is nothing compared to the next celebration;they should wait till Madam Banker Cecelia Ibru is released from her ‘few months’ sojourn behind her luxurious bar. They should be ready to join the jollymentaion or keep quiet and watch; as many heads of cows and pounded yam are bound to roll freely away that day. Meanwhile let us roll out the biggest drums in anticipation of the home coming of some of our other illustrious prisoners.

NEW  NIGERIAN  ON  SUNDAY, MARCH 20,  2011

If the Egyptian protests were in Nigeria…

“It is the writer who might catch the imagination of young people, and plant a seed that will flower and come to fruition.”

These are the inspiring words of Isaac Asimov the famous American science writer and author.

Considered a master of hard science fiction and a man with great imaginary mind and prolific in mystery and make –believe stories.

It is from this great American pen-man that I have decided to borrow some imaginary conceptions and share them with readers this week. In the hopethat  I might have planted a seed that will flower and come to fruition at the end of the day.

Precisely I am letting my imagination fly freely as I look back at the victorious revolution that took place in Egypt last week. A revolution that ushered in a change that started like play – play and I am here imagining what it would  have been like, if the resilient protests had been in my dear country Nigeria, the most populous rich black nation on planet earth, with different set of people and peculiar characters. I can still imagine with a sense of flinch the kobokos, frog jump, kicking, pounding, beating and brushing that could have flown like missiles from our various security outfits to the protesters if it were here in Nigeria.

Ye! Plenty head could have been broken, many lips swollen and some set of teeth definitely missing from brutalized mouths. And some families might probably be holding a wake keeping, funeral or some seven day or forty day prayer session by now.

 But we are all witness to the civility that transpired between the angry resilient people of Egypt and their security agencies, specifically the military, the strongest institution in the country. We saw how it is, to be a soldier with guns, armor tanks, grenades,  and whips and yet mingle freely with humanity among the people. The soldiers did not overzealously pounce on the protesting civilians with koboko, unleash teargas on them or send many of them to their early graves with AK47 riffles or bombard them to yonder mercilessly with their armoured tanks. We saw first-hand what it means on how to stand by the truth and listen attentively to the voice of the people. The land of Pharaoh and its people displayed a sense of true comradeship to the entire world to behold with envy and support. They fought against injustice and dictatorship among themselves with a united voice, thus shaming a few unpatriotic descendants who were bravely chased out by the people’s might.

Honestly I have decided to subscribe my imagination to the advice of Mark Twain who said, “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus” So as a matter of urgency has decided to give my curious eyes a break and use my imagination to focus  properly on our dear country and try to imagine how it would have looked like if the protests that saw to the fall of the last pharaoh of Egypt (Mubarak) had actually taken place in Nigeria, how would the Nigerian security have handled the situation? Would the soldier have come out with stern  faces ,wading their guns, armor and men brutality through our streets? Would General Maikarfi order his boys to shoot down Emeka, Audu, Segun, Hauwa, Ngozi and Kemi  who came out protesting the shameful issue of indigene versus settlers and other  cheap ethnic bias that has  long been eating the country and causing wahala and katakata across the country? Will IGP Elogbon specifically instruct his boys to happily discharge their bullets freely on protesting market men and women, who were on the streets to protest the high cost of rent at the markets and other excessive government charges and taxes?  I don’t want to imagine that the federal government would have quickly declared a state of emergency across the country or order more battalion of soldiers and police on the street. I am just  imagining if these men and women would have understood that they were actually supposed to go out and defend and protect their ‘own’ people not to harass, shoot or kill them like aliens or enemies from other countries. What would have been the fate of our men and women from our villages, including the elderly who might have all trooped out to protest the negligence, hunger, insecurity and long abandonment they are facing? 

Part of the imaginative questions in my mind are: would our learned lawyers  and the entire members of the Nigerian Bar Association bravely join the protest or resort to siding the politicians with ‘big grammar’ or make many mountains out of anthills, by subjecting the protest to various forms of litigation, court injunction, indictment, court order or jurisdiction palaver?

What about our Doctors in white, would they have thrown down their stethoscopes and join the protest to express their anger and frustration at the shameful sites of our hospitals and lack of reliable health facilities and personnel across the various government hospitals across the country?  Would they have encouraged the nurses, and other health workers to patriotically join the protest to fight for good wages and suitable working environment and at the same time discharge their national duty ,  attending to the injured and nurse some battered head and swollen mouth?

Imagination they say built the world, so I am sharing some imagination this week, on how it might have been if the recent protests in Egypt had happened in Nigeria. I could imagine our desperate and expensive politicians sending out bags of Ghana must go,  mudu  of rice, and specially printed antapa with their faces engraved on the cheap material, and other egunje to the various mobilizers and organizers of the protest to see how they could turn the whole thing into tribal, ethnic and religious sentiment, including hijacking it for their selfish political ambitions.

Some of them might use the opportunity to turn the whole thing into a political affair with the various political parties dividing the protest into party line. Don’t be surprised to hear these are PDP, CPC. ACN, LP, PRP, ANPP, APGA , MEGA or WAZOBIA party members, and from there the political confusion and division will set in, creating disunity among genuine protesters.

I can imagine the number of thugs and political assassins that would be drafted to destabilize the protest and how many patriotic lives will die cheaply in the hands of these mercenaries.

I am still flying freely on the wings of imagination wondering if the soldiers, police, and other security agencies drafted to confront the people would have shot some of their wives, children, mothers, sisters, brothers and fathers who might have joined the protest against the high cost of Kerosene, the dilapidated structures they live in and the lack of affordable and qualitative education for their children? I pity our school pupils who might have innocently also joined the protest as the koboko won’t be spared in whipping their buttocks zealously. What if the Nigerian students, through NANS, had decided to join the protest, how many would have been shot dead or wounded by some trigger happy policemen and soldiers, as they march boldly agaisnt the high cost of school fees, poor infrastructure and constant strikes?

Believe me imagination is wonderful, free and creative. I just imagined what role our flamboyant traditional rulers would play. Would most of them have brought out their subjects from their secured palace and join the protest in support of abolition of the indigene /settler disgrace,  fight openly against the corruption epidemic eating us slowly away and  demand to the end  of the various ethnic and religious crisis going on across the country?

What about our famous juju men and women, including all the Bokas, Alfas, Mallams. Would they have also joined the protest and use all their ‘hidden’ secrets to see to the success of the protest all across the country? And what about our almighty segregated media. Would they have join forces and protest the high cost of printing and broadcasting materials, the constant assassination and brutalization of their members in the hands of overzealous security men and politicians and their poor remuneration, including the muzzling of the important Freedom of Information Bill (FOI), or rather busy competing for advertorial from the various group of protesters and government and instigating division through sponsored editorials, sensational stories and biased articles?

Ha! What won’t imagination do in this world? I am just imagining the role of our famous Labour Union and NGOs and their zeal of conversing for a cause. I can see different group of NGOs across the country, marching through our streets, specifically in Abuja and Lagos, making big noise and shouting out to the international community to come to their aid. I can imagine some of them seeking for donors for camp beds, mattresses, buckets, stove and some chop-chop to keep body and soul together and silently thin out at the end of the day. 

What about the famed Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta ( MEND) in the south- south, would they have abandoned the creeks, dropped their weapons and joined the protest democratically in their quest for a better Niger Delta, with good roads, sensible shelters, education and compensation?  And the mysterious Boko Haram in the north-east, would they have dropped their daring killings and join the protest to express their grievances and needs?

Would all the notorious armed robbers in the country, the pickpockets at our bus stops and the heartless ritualists and kidnappers roaming around our neighbourhoods, drop their trade and join the protest for a better life and  genuine living? Imagination goes with many questions along the way.

So don’t mind me, if only you know what imagination can do. It allows you the freedom to think freely and like what Dr.Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel), the famous American writer and cartoonist rightly observed: “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try.”  So how would it have been if the Egyptian protest were in Nigeria? Please free your own imagination and think left and right, high and low, maybe you might find your answer.

NEW  NIGERIAN  ON  SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 20,  2011

FOR SALE: My voter registration card

This is to inform the general public, especially our distinguished politicians, of my interest to sell my voter registration card. Please don’t blame me for this self decision, and I beg your indulgence not to see me as being unpatriotic. I am just trying to hold on to what has been stolen from me more than ten years ago, and thank God for His mercies, I am privileged again to have in my possession the ticket to my freedom.

Right now I can afford to pose, shakara and do yanga to our politicians, and believe me I go do shakara no be small, unless anyone among them is ready to offer me my asking price, which I have decided to let go to the highest bidder. And for your information, I am not willing to let go my powerful card for a plate of porridge, moi-moi, ankara, bag of rice, key soap or some cheap promises. In fact, the buyer must be ready to enter into a written agreement with my lawyer and swear to Allah, God , ogun , orisha, osenobua,oghene, eledumare, sango, Chineke or whatsoever he or she believes in. And must come along with the oldest man or woman in their village to stand as surety and authenticate his claim of indigene-ship.

I leant some desperate politician are struggling to buy voter registration cards across the country and I believe this is the best time to present my expensive one for sale. So please tell anyone of them who might be interested that I have the grade (A) type, certified by the famous DDC machine, with all my ten fingers sticking out boldly and my curious face staring inquisitively at election 2011.

Please find below the criteria that qualifies a potential buyer for the various positions that I might cast my vote for:

Councillor: I am willing and ready to sell my card to that candidate who wants to be a councillor only if he or she is willing and ready to declare his assets, tell us the number of wives he has and write down the number plate of his old motorcycle we all know him with. And must promise not to buy a flashy car, build a mini mansion and marry more wives throughout his tenure. He or she must be ready to bring development to our area, and ensure that our rural farmers have good roads to bring their goods to the markets, electricity and tap water must flow yanfu-yanfu and the kids must be in school. He or she must be ready to fight to eradicate any almajiri on our street and make provision for the elderly, as they are without doubt the politicians closest to the people. And must be ready to spend the number of years he or she spent in the office in jail if found wanting, and should be ready to confront all the elderly men and women in the villages for their baptism of curses.

Chairmanship: This is a big position in Nigeria today with a lot of chop-chop and a simple avenue of siphoning money. Therefore, the prize is different and more expensive than the councillorship. So the candidate here must be ready to declare his entire asset at home and abroad. He or she must write an undertaking in the high court and promise never to add more wives, mistress or concubine to his list. He must declare to the whole world his policies to develop the local government in the shortest possible term of one term in office and must be ready to go to jail if found guilty of corruption and other egunje matter. Importantly the candidate must be ready to initiate other avenue of internally generated income, and close his or her longer throat from the famous annual oil windfall and other government subvention and bailouts.

This potential chairman must sign an agreement with all the villages under the council to provide them with standard hospitals and create employment for the teeming youth irrespective of tribe, gender or religion. He must swell and sign an undertaking with all the district heads not to bribe the youths with cheap achaba machines, which send them to their early graves or use them as political thugs. He must be ready to spend times two of his years in office in jail, if found wanting and surrender to the curses from the elders at the end of the day.

State and national assembly: This is an expensive position and most members are those with the latest jeeps in town and have some tight security around them, not forgetting the numerous egunje and the over inflated yearly constitutional fees for ghost projects and the various jumbo travelling allowances across the world. I won’t let go my card easily here, so the candidates must be ready to drop well. Part of his undertaking will include a self written letter with his hands to prove to us that he or she can actually write and speak good English at all the sittings and contribute meaningfully to debates and the making of laws. He or she must swear never to buy a jumbo jeep or be part of inflating the cost of goods and services at the chambers, nor suddenly become a contractor.  He or she must undertake never to sleep shamelessly in chambers when debates are going on or ever absent himself unnecessary from his important seat for close to three months or suddenly go AWOL (Absent without leave).They must never build any gigantic mansion nor seduce our young girls freely with money and other flashy vanities. And finally must be willing to move and mingle freely with people of their constituency and ready to face their curses and spend some number of long years in jail, if found to have failed.

Governorship: Ha! This is the jackpot and I hope to make my mega buck at this stage, if I am lucky, and I have long promised myself not to let go cheaply here. I am sure everyone knows what it means to be a governor in this country. Apart from the loud intimidating siren, the long convoy of different shapes and sizes of cars and the many chop-chop and big power that goes with it. A governor is like a mini Presido in this part of the world and my asking prize should not surprise anyone; after all, it can never be compared to what the potential candidate stands to gain at the end of the day.

 So the candidate should be ready not only to declare all his assets, including wives and children,  but also must be willing to go live on national television and radio stations to announce to the world his progarmme for just a term in office and very importantly swear not to tolerate the disgraceful and obsolete indigene /settler syndrome, and must ensure that all projects for development and enjoyment are shared among all the corners of the state. Again, the candidate must be ready to tune down the volume of the popular loud siren and trim down the number of escorts and have gut to mingle freely with the talakawas and sincerely share in their pains, sorrows and needs.

 I am only going to sell my vote to that gubernatorial candidate who can show us his or her achievement practically and exhibit the mind of a visionary, creative, bold and carries charisma like a second skin. That candidate who would ensure the lives and property of everybody irrespective of the name of your village, the language you speak or your religion and class are truly protected.  I am searching for that man or woman who has the fear of God in mind and subscribes to the freedom of speech and accepts criticism with a grin.   I am only selling my vote for that candidate who is willing to remove immunity from neck and has gut to accept his or her responsibility. And finally he or she must be ready to face all the old men and women in the state for baptism of curses and must carry a big FAILED tag on his or her neck for year and also ready to spend some stretched years in prison, with a final transfer to Kirikiri.

President: The Presido!  The highest position and the biggest jackpot in the country, the prize of my vote in this category is on the high side. In short a candidate must declare himself and all his assets to all Nigerians and the whole world to see with koro-koro eyes and undertake to dress in all our costumes, ensure that all dishes in Aso-rock kitchen are made in Nigeria and from all the regions and also spend each month in all states, especially in the rural areas, to see first hand how the people are enjoying the dividend of democracy. He must ensure there is prize control of goods and services across the country and write an undertaking to make sure the country produce its first moto, computer, bicycle, airplanes and cheap things like matches, toothpicks and toys. I am willing to let go my precious card to that presidential candidate who has charisma on his forehead and represent all irrespective of region, states, tribe or religion. That man who has a big heart and bold in his decisions. The man with the fear of God and strive to leave a big legacy for all to marvel at and try to emulate. He must be ready to face all Nigerians at the end of the day and prepare to enjoy some plenty years in jail, taking turn to spend some term in all the prisons across the country, if he fails, and also willing to forgo all the jumbo presidential pension benefits and pamper.

These are just part of the requirement for a presidential candidate, with more to follow as we move along. Please you are free to seek for more information and clarification, and note that only those who met this requirement will be contacted.

NEW  NIGERIAN  ON  SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 13,  2011

A letter to our security agencies

I am directed to write you this letter and communicate to you our resolution as regard the security of our lives and property, this being our rights as patriotic citizens of this great rich country.

I write on behalf of all the market men and women of this prosperous nation with lots of goods and services and versed in rich resourceful land. This letter is a voice of the Nigerian farmers who have been deprived of their rights in tilling their land in search of food to keep body and soul, due to insecurity in virtually all corners of our nation.

This is also  part of the voices of our mechanics, bricklayers, Okada riders and the large population of  beggars and other oppressed and marginalized Nigerians across the country, who have lost their lives one way or  the other in senseless rioting, bombings and ethno-religious crisis that seem to have overpowered you all, despite all the billions expanded on you annually.

I am directed to let you know that the market women association in collaboration with farmers in the country has vowed to deprive you of food and other chop-chop you might need to sustain your frames in the course of your purported securing of lives and property, unless you all sit up boldly to your responsibilities and shame these various alarming threats to our nation. Again it is important that you know that some of your wives, sisters, girlfriends, concubines, brothers and sisters, including those of you with husbands and boyfriends, have actually become a laughing stock to them as they are yet to understand why despite all the resources at your disposals, the skirmishes in Jos and Maiduguri are still exposing your weakness, while a bunch of miscreants are daily sending some of you cheaply to their early graves. And for your information most of them have promised to all dress in black and join the women in Plateau in their protest against the killings and insecurity in their state.  They are baffled that you have participated successful in ending hot crisis and wars in other countries like Liberia, Sierra Leone, Congo, Bosnia, Yugoslavia and other troubled spots across the globe, but could not conquer  the ones at your backyards.

 In fact, the Okada riders are still amazed on how you could allow killers on motorcycles to continue to impersonate them on Okadas   and unleash terror and operate freely in Maiduguri, while most of their genuine members across the country are daily harassed on the roads for twenty naira and some of them innocently killed by some trigger happy uniformed men, for refusing to comply with  this egunje pendemic.

The bricklayers on their own have promised to ensure that no member of their association henceforth  participates in erecting any gigantic mansions owned by our expensive politicians  and some of your top ogas across the country, where most of you spent your time  protecting their siphoned wealth and their over -pampered families, while the majority of those who are part of the real tax payers are left to either defend themselves or  succumb to cheap death in the hands of robbers, assassins, rioters and ritualists.

Some of the questions the  majority of the people are asking are: are you people sure and confident that you can actually defend the territory of this great nation when God forbid, some adventurous invaders decide to take over some of our states, including the people?

 They want to know why they should trust your words and have full confidence in you, when close to ten years now, you are yet to find solution to the barbaric killings on the Plateau, the senseless ones in Bauchi and the mystified ones going on in Maiduguri?

They want to know why they should continue to contribute to your salaries and up- keeping when the Niger-Delta is still restive, and kidnappers are still roaming about zealously across some of the states in the east, south- south and some part of the north?

I think it is also pertinent that you should know that some of the complainers have even proposed disbanding some of the security agencies in the country and replace them with old soldiers, yanbanga, hunters and the various vigilante groups scattered across the land, whom they felt might be more efficient if properly trained and all those billions budgeted on you, channeled to them. In fact, some of them suggested that the country should engage the services of Babalawos, Mallams, Afas , Bokas and the large number of juju men and women available, yanfu-yanfu, to protect their lives and property, instead of relying  disappointingly on you.

They want to know if truly you can protect our territory from invading al-Qaeda, modern day Vikings and invincible military raid. I am directed to ask you on how safe are our waters, our airports, our borders, our expensive over pampered federal capital city and the other less secured cities across the country, if the unexpected decide to pay us a visit?

 They want to know if their children are safe at schools, on the roads and around their neighborhoods, from kidnappers, Gbomo-gbomo and ritualists.

 Some of the teachers too are feeling the pinch of this insecurity palaver and may decide not to come to school again unless you agree to provide those escorts with loud siren as done to some politicians and your ogas, who ironically happen to be their forma pupils, but have long abandoned them to their fates. 

The tailors are not left out in this, as they have also threatened to stop sewing your infiltrated uniforms and allow you to revert to wearing  knickers or wrapping leaves or bante around your waists, since you cannot even protect your uniforms from being used by imposters to unleash terror on helpless citizens over the years. They are ashamed that these uniforms sewed with pride and dignity are now like gwanjo in our markets for every armed robber, Boko Haram, kidnappers and even any agbero to easily obtain.

Lest I forget, some of your families are also worried about going out to shop in our markets or sending their children freely to school, since we all passed through the same roads, and buy garri, rice,  beans, yam, kpomo, dawadawa, tomatoes, pepe and all the eatable from the same market, irrespective of who you are in the society.

This could sound like amebo, but the truth is some civil society groups are not too happy with the way you have allowed some politicians to use you and indoctrinate your hitherto neutral minds with ethno-religious sentiment in carrying out your national duty, and might decide to organize the whole grandmothers and the entire old men in this country against you. And this you should know is a big wahala, because the curse of these old citizens is like thunder and it strikes with force from generation to generation.

Finally, I am directed by all sincere registered Nigerians in the forth coming elections to ask you boldly and loudly if really we are all safe during the elections and what modalities do you have on  the ground to stop ballot snatching ,election rigging and assassination, including all the other wuru-wuru and magu-magu that normally characterize elections across the country? 

Please take this as a formal complain, while we await a more proactive and efficient change from you.

This is our submission, in the hope that you will all discuss these issues among yourselves and as a matter of urgency sit up to your responsibilities and reclaim your rightful position as one of the best security forces not only in Africa but the world in general, made up of capable and patriotic security men and women ready to defend every Nigerian irrespective of class, religion, tribe or gender.

Your Compatriot,

Dangari